on killing two birds with one stone.

"When they asked me what I wanted to be I said I didn’t know.
"Oh, sure you know," the photographer said.
"She wants," said Jay Cee wittily, "to be everything."
-Sylvia Plath.



I am wrought with indecision and frustration. I work myself into these frenzied periods of self doubt and incomparable determination. I feel the need to prove myself, to make myself deserving of your time.
Of course, I am over analyzing. That much I'm sure of.

Why can't I be casual? I read far too much into too many things.

I slip and stumble blindly towards what could be a lost cause. I wouldn't be able to look at myself if I didn't take the chance though.



I'm concentrating on discerning what I can believe and what I should move away from. I need to make wise decisions. It is crunch time, after all.

And why I knew we connected, I don't know what it means. And after all this time, I'm beginning to doubt that my trust has ever been well placed.

(I have you to thank for that.)


Oh, to go back before our conversation was forced and awkward.

I have such an easy way about me. I'm trying not to force anything these days. I can tell I've changed- something just feels different. I'm not sure what it is.

If you've known me for any sort of time, and can help me figure this out, please, by all means. Chime in.


Love IS blind. Blind to faults and hurt and what's right.
I love being blinded by love. The light that comes from the loss of that love is consuming.

I do deserve better.


I'm listening to: The Bird and The Bee ( F*cking Girlfriend), John Mayer (City Love, Come When I Call), The Cab ( I'll Run), Be Your Own Pet (Love Yr Shotgun), Tyler James (Stay Humble-www.tylerjames.com), reason & doubt.

Love, Ana.