it was your heart on the line

I don't have a job anymore. Not a tragedy. A blessing. Corporate America was not built for this girl.



I'm hoping I'll be able to make money off writing. Or singing. Something artistic.
When I'm feeling bad, I shower in Magnifique by Lancome. My mom wears it. And home is whenever I'm with her. I feel better.



The flower shop was home. It was everything. She was made to be surrounded by huge flowers in bright colors. Washburn's in Uptown Normal always cheers me up on a sad day- it smells like our shop.

"I met a girl, she kept tattoos for homes that she had lost. If I were her, I'd paint my body till all my skin was gone."

I want to be whole. Sometimes I feel like I'm on my way. Fashion and music and writing and my friends can make me be okay. (not real. nothing real, nothing solid- I live in ideals)

Been re-discovering ee cummings. Been re-discovering Miss Sylvia Plath (marriage doesn't suit me either, dear.)


I met a boy- a man, really. He really gets to me. It's still new and exciting, still in the beginning stages, but I really am holding onto hope.

I went to a funeral for a friend on Saturday. I was so glad for everyone there. I wished that one of us had showed how much we loved him before Wednesday.
It made me need to love everyone more, deeper, more fully, harder.

(You'd be surprised at the things I write and delete)


In darkness, hope. I hope.

Color me obsessed with Rachel Zoe, Bon Iver, The bird & the bee, Mumford & Sons, Death Cab for Cutie, Zooey Deschanel, Jemina Pearl.

Love. Love. Love. on everyone around you.
xx Ana